latest posts

  • messages from mr. rogers

    January 11, 2020 by

    I found myself on youtube searching for vintage Mr. Rogers episodes. The shows were pure, kind, inspiring . . and most of all, I was unable to detect any subliminal messages or directives from the government.

  • My experience in an ACT

    December 4, 2019 by

    The staff knew everyone by name, and cheerfully addressed you with even inconsequential passing in the hallway. Each one, also if you were not directly involved with them, had an idea of what you were working on and would compassionately ask you how things were going or congratulate you on reaching a goal.

  • protecting the food supply

    December 1, 2019 by

    I get home and search the basement to find the two tools needed to complete my strategy in undermining the government’s efforts from contaminating my food. I find what I need is in just the places I knew to look. The duct tape sat dutifully in the toolbox. And the six-pack sized Igloo resting alongside it’s larger cooler counterpart.

  • Bedlam: An Intimate Journey Into America's Mental Health Crisis – review

    December 1, 2019 by

    Although, as the “Journey into America’s Mental Health Crisis” is indeed a sad realization, it is not bereft of hope. Rosenburg encourages the reader with information touting successes by advocate interaction in law-making, positive results in new community-based treatments, and court-mandated “wraparound” assisted outpatient treatments. These and other successful programs around the world leave the reader with a positive outlook for the future.

  • be thankful

    November 30, 2019 by

    No, my life is not the fairy tale that it once was in terms of money, homes, and travel. But it is a fairy tale of sorts. I am hoping through my writing and work, I can take this cataclysmic story of mine and use it to shed hope and light on someone else’s darkest needs.

  • suicide at Iverness Prison

    November 24, 2019 by

    Police found Zach Banner crouched in a corner, doused with petrol, and concealing a pack of matches in his pocket. Immediately transported to the station, psychiatric nurses assessed his mental state. They reported he told them that “life was not worth living.” Is it just me? . . or does it take a trained psychiatric nurse to… Read more

  • psychotic PTSD

    November 22, 2019 by

    Now that my psychosis has cleared and I am almost two years into the recovery effort, it is hard for others to understand why I’m not immediately back up and functioning in a high-level management position as if nothing ever happened.

  • Is there such a thing as a “normal day?”

    November 22, 2019 by

    I often reminisce about the good old days when I could attend work and successfully direct my employees. Back then, I appreciated their innocence and youth. Back then, I would have never suspected that they were undercover secret agents.

  • drums trigger psychotic thoughts

    November 18, 2019 by

    Sitting on the floor in front of what appears to be the beginnings of a start-up band, I am racking my brain to make sense of it all. Why did the government want me to be proficient in music? They had trained me in piano, but I had no experience with drums. Why would they include a full drum set along with free furniture and a piano?

  • don’t argue with someone who is psychotic

    November 5, 2019 by

    Experts tell family members to keep their statements short, simple and clear. Speak in a calm voice. Give the person physical space rather crowding them. Don’t challenge them over the delusions.

  • i always got the boys toys

    November 4, 2019 by

    Because of my mom’s interest in science and my dad’s fascination with technology, I was heartily fed a steady diet of STEM-oriented toys and social engagements. Instead of Barbie, I was given chemistry sets, programmable toys, rock and fossil collections, electric race car sets, and home computers. Instead of sports camps like many of my friends, I was sent to science camps, museum schools and foreign language lessons.

  • VR allows you to feel what it is like to be psychotic

    November 4, 2019 by

    I found this new approach of stimulating empathy and understanding by combining neuroscience and video games particularily interesting. As VR, and VR type experiences, increasingly become woven into the fabric of our culture for entertainment, industry, training, and education. It is not surprising that a “video game” has been created to allow the User to experience severe psychosis. It is the technological version of what I am trying to communicate with this blog.

  • identifying messages in holiday decorations

    October 29, 2019 by

    Rather than writing about the serenity of the ocean side town or create poetry in appreciation of the delicate cattails that gracefully swayed in the marsh breeze, I wrote of the holidays in general, specifically my resentment regarding the actual secret function of decorations.

  • a secret message from a street vendor

    April 13, 2019 by

    I recognized the young grasshopper phrase from Kung Fu, a show on television I watched when I was a child. I don’t know what prompted him to address me in such away. But my internal response was quick and powerful, this man was a government secret agent and he was delivering a message to me.

  • fleeing from a Tool concert

    April 13, 2019 by

    At the Tool concert, I was full blown psychotic. The environment delivered an overwhelming assemblage of “weird people” or actors and secret agents.They congregated and circulated all around me, each one purposefully placed to manipulate and deliver coded instructions.

  • searching for clues in business cards

    April 13, 2019 by

    Because of this one business card, I concluded that I would be made to defecate, bleed and urinate in front of the cult. And I believe the completion of the ritual would require that I perform humiliating in the cage. I knew the experience was engineered to break the human will and create a vulnerable demeanor complementary to execute procedures meant to forge obedience and condition the mind for control to create the disposition of eager acceptance dependant on orders and direction.

  • the death of Steve Jobs

    March 29, 2019 by

    I took several photos for Instagram and Twitter. But as I took the photos, an unsettling awareness lingered throughout my body. In the near future, this uneasy discomfort would evolve, intensify, and become a part of my daily existence. It was one of the first samplings of what it feels like to live with acute psychotic delusion. Nevertheless, I carried on with my project. And as I photographed the mourners, I was certain that someone else was watching, photographing and following me from store to store.

  • “parasite” – a poem

    September 27, 2019 by

    In frustration and protest, I called my own personal strike. I refused to get involved or participate in any thing with my new housemates. And to further demonstrate my objection to these oppressive conditions, I refused to help with anything until someone finally agreed to be honest and explain who they were and what was going on.

  • hearing keywords. today it’s “boots”

    September 26, 2019 by

    I believed that the keywords were actually messages and/or directives from the government. I concluded that the keywords served as clues to my undercover assignments and, because of the secrecy necessary for such a covert operation, it was up to me to figure out what they meant and how I was to respond.

  • I’m “forced” into these delusions

    April 19, 2019 by

    A devout Christian and very kind woman, she invited me to all kinds of events. I appreciated her concern and efforts, but each ice cream and cookies social, each prayer group, and each bible verse bookmarks making session only revealed that she and her friends were complicit in this covert government operation. They were all secret agents. I could hear it in their words. I could see it in their mannerisms. It was all so blatantly evident.

  • “big data” – a poem

    April 14, 2019 by

    I don’t want your heart
    I don’t want your soul
    I just want your data

    What’s that?
    You say you may have deleted it?
    Oh that’s ok, don’t worry
    We’ve been collecting and saving it
    We’ve been collecting for longer than you could have ever imagined

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