the secret agent with a french accent

But, today, things were different. Now, I can recognize what is real and what might be a random thought or overactive imagination. I rested in peace and I was so grateful my living nightmare was over. Unfortunately, in less than one month, I would recall this meeting as one of the first attempts by the government to reinstate communication. Psychosis would return in full force and stay with me for another 2 years.

the death of Steve Jobs

I took several photos for Instagram and Twitter. But as I took the photos, an unsettling awareness lingered throughout my body. In the near future, this uneasy discomfort would evolve, intensify, and become a part of my daily existence. It was one of the first samplings of what it feels like to live with acute psychotic delusion. Nevertheless, I carried on with my project. And as I photographed the mourners, I was certain that someone else was watching, photographing and following me from store to store.

stealing an ambulance for a joy ride

And there I was . . . all alone in the passenger front seat. . . keys left in the ignition. My manic mind an overpowering competitor against my ability to maintain reasonable and rational thought. The possibilities were overwhelming. The temptation too powerful. And without pause, I leapt over the console into the driver’s seat, wrapped my hand around the keys in the ignition, and gave them a forceful turn. I threw the gear into drive.

the day psychosis entered my life

Later, the psychosis would evolve to include my recognition that I was a test tube baby created in a government lab. As part of the CIA’s clandestine MK Ultra program, I was classified as a top secret military weapon. In order to hide the operation in plain sight, secret codes and symbols would be my only means of communication. All messages and directives would be delivered by embedding symbols and code into casual English language, public signage, lyrics to music, television shows and commercials, movies, and frequencies that transfer information through voices inside my head. I accepted and understood they could not and would never speak with me directly.