Is there such a thing as a “normal day?”

The following quote was taken from a post on The Bipolar Writer Collaborative Mental Health Blog. Unfortuntatley, the post was deleted just after I finished my comment. Before my thoughts disappeared into the Internet ether, I chose to copy and share it on my blog because I totally relate.

“Has anyone ever seen the film I Robot starring Will Smith? It’s based on a story by Isaac Asimov.  Smith plays his  typical action man role with misbehaving robots added.  The ultimate premise of the tale is how does one keep humanity safe – not from sci-fi’s ubiquitous invading aliens, no not even killer robots which someone has to program  – but from itself?   There is a line in the film where a scientist says to Will Smith’s character,  Do you ever have a normal day?  He replies: I did once.”

A normal day . . . once upon a time . . .oh man, does this short dialogue ever resonate with me. I am going on year two of recovery from an acute paranoid psychotic episode that lasted almost six years. During this interlude of madness, I lost my marriage, several family members, several jobs, my home, and, worst of all, my sense of confidence and self-pride.

I often reminisce about the good old days when I could attend work and successfully direct my employees. Back then, I appreciated their innocence and youth. Back then, I would have never suspected that they were undercover secret agents.

But those days are long gone. And after two years of recovery, I’m not sure how to reenter my chosen field of discipline without revealing much of my missing time equated to convalescing in a hospital psychiatric ward.

Today, I’m regaining a bit of my self-confidence through volunteer work and blogging about my experience. And while my dedication and activity does help, it never stops that daily nagging mantra . . .”I used to be normal . . . I used to be normal.”

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