The psychosis continued to increase in intensity and frequency by October 2012. To help define it, I appropriately named it “weirdness.” I could self rant in my car, “Weirdness, I wish you would leave me alone!” or ask it questions, “Weirdness” why are you doing this to me? Please tell me why I am being surveyed night and day!”
As Weirdness evolved, what I called “keywords” became prevalent on a daily basis. Keywords were words that frequently present and noticed in spoken or written language. They could appear in any random conversation with any random person. And once I identified a keyword, it would appear again and again wherever I went.
It would happen like this. Any innocent conversation would reveal a keyword. I would then encounter the keyword over and over for days and months into the future. Keywords would appear in conversations, commercials, print ads, books, newscasts, billboards . . . everywhere.
I believed that the keywords were actually messages and/or directives from the government. I concluded that the keywords served as clues to my undercover assignments and, because of the secrecy necessary for such a covert operation, it was up to me to figure out what they meant and how I was to respond.
In the fall of 2012, one of the keywords was “boots.” I heard “boots’ over and over in various random places over the course of several weeks. People would compliment me on the boots I was wearing or a cartoon of a cat in boots would appear on TV. Unable to decipher the hidden message nor what my response should be, I went to the boots section at Nordstroms in search of answers.
Perplexed and frustrated, I concluded that the government was commanding me to purchase boots as my assigned uniform. So I surrendered my credit card for the unknown cause of the mission and, with no forewarning to my husband, bought a little over $3000 worth of boots. I believe it equated to about 7 or 8 pairs. All were different styles, made mostly of leather, and of varying heights. For months, I only wore my subscribed government mandated boots. I felt a sense of accomplishment believing I had solved the riddle of the keyword and fulfilled my directive.
When the bill arrived in the mail, my husband flipped out and demanded an explanation. Knowing that I couldn’t reveal the sensitive details of my classified relationship with the military, I remained tight lipped and offered no explanation. He was bewildered and resentful as evidenced by the cold rift that lingered between us for days. But I was content. I rested in the satisfaction of knowing I had successfully cracked the keyword code and completed my secret mission.